We could stay here and meditate
Should not be feeling so irate
Stats and lies only agitate
No more fools to impersonate
The youth would not be in a state
If we taught them love instead of hate
Give them room let them see their fate
Show them how they can demonstrate
Teach them not to discriminate
Then let them grow and gravitate
We’re only here to mediate
There is still time so don’t be late

Is knife-crime linked to poverty?
Where did we lose our sanity?
Why should we keep our dignity?
Do we want more equality?
Can we hide our animosity?
What happenned to the honesty?
Is Them and Us reality?
How about a nice cup of tea?

The youth will need more unity
Add a drop of hilarity
Before they find their destiny
And head off to Infinity

Tags: "boing", *Kerpow*, *splat*, *whack*, oops, ouch, ow, youth

I’m pretty sure that most of us have cheated at some point in our lives, it could be cheating at cards, cheating in sport, and lots of others that I can’t think of just now. Oh wait, there is one more that I remember, cheating in love and marriage. There are different views on love cheats, a man cheating with another woman, is thought of as a Romeo, or a scallywag, however the woman is called a slut, or a whore, and many others that I could, but won’t mention.

There was once a woman who was married for a number of years, she wasn’t still madly in love with her hubby, but she cared about him, and possibly thought that *It’s better the Devil you know, than the one you don’t* This woman who I’ll call Carly-Jean, or CJ for short, got a promotion in her job, and it was the job she always wanted. CJ then had to work alongside outside contractors, and was a woman in a mostly, male world. She got to know one of these men, who we’ll call David John ( DJ) very well and they shared their problems with each other, and got to know each other intimately, although how far that went I do not know, I have heard rumours but won’t condemn someone here. The male DJ, was telling CJ how his ex-wife had been hitting him, and accusing him of having affairs with other women, which DJ told CJ were NOT true. He then got a divorce from her, and met another women, who he was living with at the time, however she is making his life a misery by asking him where he is, and what he is doing all the time, and after a period of time she also called him a Cheat, and this was causing DJ so much stress that he had to go to the Dr. and get some medication to help him cope with life. Now CJ ( the woman) hearing all this felt very sorry for DJ, because she had always thought that he was a very nice man, he went to church every Sunday, was always smartly dressed, and  doesn’t drink very much, a non-smoker, and looks after himself, by going to the gym etc.

A few weeks  passed and CJ & DJ could only find time to email, and text each other, but they did meet through their work, and DJ told CJ that his female partner had thrown him out onto the streets, and he was living in his office just now. Well CJ felt so sorry for poor DJ, and she then gave him a big hug, which then became a kiss, and eventually they had sex with each other. After a short period of time( a cooling off period?) DJ told CJ that his female partner had let him back into the house to stay, and he informed CJ that it would only be a temporally arrangement, and he is in the spare room, and not sharing a bed. ( this was found later to be untrue)

A few months passed and DJ & CJ were catching brief moments with each other, some more intimate than others. Then the sh*t hit the fan. CJ saw DJ kissing another woman intimately. She ran away and burst into tears, because the penny dropped. DJ was not the innocent party in all his fights with female partners, and what they accused him of, (having affairs with other women) was in fact true. She then went home and her husband was on the ‘phone to someone. It was the female partner of DJ telling Hubby all about DJ &CJ.

This story may, or may not be true. There could be no DJ, CJ, or other women involved, but I’m sure that, through time, we have all known a DJ, or CJ, maybe not a relative or friend, but someone we know of.

Trust

What is trust?
Who can we trust?
Can we trust our loved ones?
Can we trust each other?
Do we need to earn trust?
Can I trust you with a secret?
Can we trust our police force?
Can we trust our political masters?
Can we trust what we hear?
Can we trust our eyes?
Can we trust the camera to never lie?
Is trust very important to you?
Without trust what do we have?
Can we trust our landlords?
Can we trust our children?
Can we trust our friends?
Without trust, there can be no friendship.
Without friendship, there can be no trust.
Do you trust me?
Is trust the most important factor in a relationship?
I trust that you will forgive me this one time

Cheery…

Tags: affair, cheat, deceive, hurt, love, sex, trust

T’was a cold night in Thewhitesettlers Croft, they had no peat to put on the fire, then someone, or something rang the doorbell, which shocked Tws, as they did not have a doorbell, as Getoffthe ( the faithful dog, although she is technically…) drew the short straw, she went to open the door, then to her surprise, nay shock, her eyes looked upon …………………..

Tags: Elf'n'safety, Misses Claws sharpenned, Rudolph Hitler, Santa clause in the contract, X Fact or Strictly C*m Dancing?

I was driving along the the Internet highway, as I have done on numerous occasions before, and was just cruising through some of the back streets, when a sign hit me ( it never actually hit me, how could it? Virtual or real?) it read “Is This Your Wife/Mother?” I thought that I would investigate, just in case it was Herself, or Mammasettler. As I was awaiting this site to upload onto my PC, I was wondering who could possibly make a website like that. The Salvation Army? They’re always good for re-uniting families, finding lost children. Maybe the Police? It is possible that they have found wives and mothers wandering the streets not knowing who they are, or where they come from, and they made this website “Is This Your Mother/Wife” to try to locate the husbands & sons.  However I was stunned to see that it had nothing whatsoever to do with wives or mothers that had gone missing, or were in the care of The Salvation Army. This was a website where wives and mothers removed items of clothing and performed a multitude of different sexual acts. I was in a state of shock, thinking that these Ladies could be a wife and mother. Then as I tried to exit this website, a 30 second video trailer popped up on the screen. It was of adult content, then towards the end of the 30 seconds I looked at the face of the “STAR” of this movie ( there was too much going on elsewhere, which is why it took me so long to notice her face) and it looked very familiar to me. I thought about it, then decided to play the clip again ( for identification purposes only though) that is when I thought that I should have known what kind of site this was, as the video clips were from a site, aptly named, “F*CK-U-TUBE” So as I was watching the video clip again, I tried to concentrate on the face of the Lady ( not an easy thing to do, as there was so much crammed into a 30 second clip)  but was having difficulty. I then decided to watch it one more time ( again only in the interest of identifying the Lady ) this time I would turn the sound up, listen to anything she was saying, and maybe hear an accent, to assist in the identification. I turned up the volume, then clicked on the play button. She was uttering noises, but it was very hard to make out any distinguishable accent from words such as “OH MY GOD” and “OH YES, OH YES” I then decided to play the video clip again, only this time with my eyes shut, so that I would be able to concentrate on the voice, and not all the other things that were going on. I did manage to keep my eyes closed, after another 3 or 4 attempts, then I knew who this woman was. However I will not be spilling any beans, not on this blog anyway, because if that is what floats her boat, that is up to her, it is not for me to judge, although strictly it would be a 9…

Local news……… Dodgy Dave has decided to appeal against his conviction for selling fake Rolex watches. He is defending himself, and will be trying to plea-bargain his way out of jail. His defence will be that he was unaware that the watches were not made by Rolex, and that even if he was aware of that fact, it would have only been ”An Error of Judgement” Well there are lots of people in London, and elsewhere no doubt, having “An Error of Judgement” regarding their expenses claims.

With regard to MP’s expenses claims, what is their salary for? They claim for meals, clothing, transport, television, mobile phones, cars, petrol, 2nd houses, bills, etc. etc. etc. 

Now onto excerpts from the Tws Book of Englishie Lesson thingies.

To, Too, Two.     I have been to the toilet, because I had too much to eat last night. I wiped my bum two times, once up, and once down.

Your, you’re.  Oh your hair is looking nice this evening. You’re just back from the hairdressers.

Of, off.  Stornoway is on the Isle of Lewis.  The Western Isles are just off the north west coast of Scotland

There, their, they’re.  Over there is where they’re going to have their picnic.

Most computers do have a Spellchecker on them. My PC has a Spellchecker on it, but sometimes it is incorrect, or is an American Spellchecker. I use the Tws..Homographic Phonetic method of spelling. It may be unconventional, but it does the trick.. 

That’s your lot today. I’d like to thank you for coming here and reading this thing that I do in this place that I do it in. Have we learned anything today? I don’t know about you, but I learned a few new things anyway……….Cheery…

Those 2 chaps from I’m a Jungle, get the celebrity out of me, that are being charge for killing and cooking a rat, well did they cook a Ratatouille?

Tags: Bah Bumhug, In front of you, Oh no she is yes, sexblog

There was this man, let’s call him Dave, who was getting headaches and had a bit of a cough, so, eventually, he made an appointment to see the Doctor. This is Dave’s tale.

Dr. “Oh come in Dave, haven’t seen you for a while, take a seat.” (There is a wee joke in there, but I’ll resist)

Dave. ” Well Dr. I’ve had this cough, and I’m getting bad headaches, and “The Wife” told me to come”

Dr. ” Okay then, Are you still smoking?”

Dave. “Yes, but I’m trying to cut down”

Dr. ” Well there’s your problem Dave, you’ll need to stop smoking, before you’ll get any better.

Dave. “Yeah, I’ll try Doc, bye”

The Following Year

Dr. “Oh come in Dave, haven’t seen you for a while, take a seat.”

Dave. ” Well Dr. I’ve still got this cough, and I’m still getting the headaches, and “The Wife” told me to come”

Dr. ” Okay then, Are you still smoking?”

Dave. ” No I stopped after the last time I was here, a year ago, when you told me that I wouldn’t get any better until I gave up the ciggies”

Dr. ” Very good Dave, what about drinking? Do you still like a few pints and a few drams at the weekend?”

Dave. ” Well, yeah, but it’s only a few drams on a Saturday night, and maybe a pint or two after work during the week Dr”

Dr. ” Well there’s your problem Dave, you’ll need to cut down on your alcohol consumption, before you’ll see any improvement”

Dave. “Yeah, I’ll try Doc, bye”

Another Year Passes.

Dr. “Oh come in Dave, haven’t seen you for a while, take a seat.”

Dave. ” Well Dr. I’ve still got this cough, and I’m still getting the headaches, and “The Wife” told me to come”

Dr. ” Okay then, Are you still off the tobacco?”

Dave. “Yeah, and I’ve cut down on the booze Dr. I hardly ever go out now, the cough, and the headaches are getting worse, so I very rarely have a dram”

Dr. ” Very good Dave, what about exercise?

Dave. ” Well I walk to work everyday, and I sometimes go for a kick-about with the kids at the weekend, but apart from that, not much”

Dr. ” Well there’s your problem Dave, you’ll need to do a bit more exercising Dave, before you’ll see any improvements, here since it’s yourself, I’ll give you some Paracetamols for the headaches”

Dave ” Oh thanks very much Doctor, that’s very good of you”

Dr. ” Oh that’s no bother Dave”

Another year passes

Bob ( Dave’s buddy) { talking to the Dr} You wouldn’t think that a cough and a headache would be a killer

Dr. ” The coughing can lead to the coffin, Bob!”

Bob ” Right Doc. Oh here’s the coffin now”

Fin….

Tags: booze, coffin, coughing, drugs, sex